


By the End of the Day

by LoxleyAndBagell



Series: The Ballad of Hoss [6]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Hoss is almost here!!!!!! AAAAAHHH!!, M/M, Pre-Slash, Shopping Trip, So much of this is group-text, The Haus needs baby proof, also a brief taste of unresolved romantic tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:16:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8187427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoxleyAndBagell/pseuds/LoxleyAndBagell
Summary: Are you ready to fucking baby-proof this hell-hole?????





	

Bitty had retreated from the party once the cookies and his cigar were finished, reluctantly abandoning the others to washing dishes and lounging about in favor of devoting at least a little time to the War of Bavarian Succession And How It Fucked Relations Between France And Austria. A little masochistic part of him left the door open, the better to listen in on in case of an emergency.

He got about ten minutes of reading in, before Farmer’s voice rang up the stairs, all false innocence as she asked, “So when is Jack due?”

Over the laughter, Bitty heard Jack’s despairing groan.

Bitty snorted, imagining Jack burying his face in his hands, unable to hide how his blush reached his ears. 

His heart squeezed a little at the thought, and he called it pity. A friend taking pity on another friend could holler down the stairs, “Jack, you want an excuse to escape that pit of absurdity?” 

“Yes, Bittle,” Jack hollered back, the creaking floor already signaling his approach. “I would love to help you look over your notes.”

Bitty giggled at his eager tone, already imagining Jack scrambling away from the laughter and cooing and into Bitty’s room, where he would probably ask if they could barricade the door.

He turned in his chair to watch, only to be greeted by Jack not gracelessly falling into his room, but stopping in the doorway, pink-cheeked and laughing helplessly, propping himself up on the door frame, that flowery scarf still around his neck. 

He was looking at Bitty, as if the two of them had just been privy to some spectacular private joke, and his crowding Bitty’s door with a giddy, flushed smile and bright eyes wasn’t an unusual thing.

Bitty very nearly squeaked, but he caught himself and cleared his throat, breezily asking, “You gonna stand out there all night?” 

He prided himself on not cringing externally at how that sounded as he turned back around in his chair.

He heard Jack stumble his way in and shut the door behind him.

“God,” Jack managed, “I’m going to be absolutely useless the rest of the night. I hope you weren’t actually counting on me being any help.”

Bitty waved a hand at him, determined not to look. “You’ve been ridiculous all afternoon, I won’t hold it against you.”

Jack sighed. “Wow. I have, haven’t I.”

“I’m blaming sleep-deprivation,” Bitty shrugged. “You’ve earned the right to be giddy.”

There was a comfortable silence for a few minutes as Bitty read, until Jack asked, “I actually do have a little work to do, is it all right if I…?”

“Go right ahead.”

A few minutes later, a slip of paper floated down over Bitty’s head and onto his open book. Flinching, looked up at Jack, who was looming over him like a grotesquely pleased gargoyle.

“You bastard,” Bitty squawked, “what was that—“

Jack shushed him and gently pressed on Bitty’s head, directing his gaze back to the paper. “Just tell me if it looks all right.”

Grumbling, Bitty complied.

 

SHOPPING LIST

-chow and bowls  
-plastic gates to block stairs  
-collar  
-leash  
-bed  
-squeaky toys  
-sour apple spray for furniture  
-shampoo for non-shedding breeds  
-kiddie pool  
-lil puppy slippy-socks  
-dog coat

 

“We started working on it downstairs,” Jack admitted. “I put a few things in just now.”

“I wonder which,” Bitty said drily, suppressing his amusement. “All right, here are my suggestions—while you’re there, make sure you ask about local groomers. Hoss is a non-shedder, that means she’ll need haircuts. She may need at least one while she’s here.”

Jack hummed, leaning around Bitty to steal his pencil and make a note of it at the bottom of the list.

“Anything else?” he asked, expression guileless, even as he had his face mere inches away from Bitty’s.

Bitty managed a “Well.” And then after a moment, he looked back at the paper and added, “Obedience classes. If she needs them. And dog tags, ask about those.”

Jack made a few more notes, and Bitty resigned himself to a few more seconds of Jack’s warmth and the smell of soap and aftershave before Jack drew away.

The bastard didn’t budge, though. Instead, he finished writing, set the pencil down, exhaled slowly, and knocked his head against Bitty’s.

“Thanks for this,” he said softly.

Bitty knew he should make some jibe about saving Jack from his own “Baby Shower,” or Jack’s bullheadedness, or make some comment about the Joys of Children.

Instead, he let his head rest against Jack’s, and said, “Happy to.”

They lingered like that, and before the little flutter of hope in Bitty’s gut could get too powerful, he quipped, “Besides, parenthood suits you.”

Jack sputtered a laugh; “Et tu, Bittle?” he asked, pulling back a little.

Bitty turned his own face too quickly, aware of being inches away from Jack once again, eyes meeting.

Before he could stop himself, Bitty said, “Look at you, you’re glowing,” and prayed it sounded like he was teasing.

“Is it distracting?” Jack asked innocently.

Jack was happy. Jack was in a teasing mood, and Bitty was easy to tease. Jack wasn’t teasing Bitty for being gay, Jack wouldn’t, but teasing came naturally to him. Jack would tease anyone with that same line, given the set-up. The only difference was that Bitty was the sort to want to interpret it the wrong way.

“Yes,” he said firmly. “And unless you want to throw me off—a most unsportsmanlike endeavor if ever I heard one—you’ll take some pity on me.”

 

GROUP TEXT

BITTY: Hey, guys! Got a test tomorrow, so don’t wait up for me to go shopping.

NURSEY: Bummer. 

LARDO: make dat money bits

JACK: Want us to bring you back anything while we’re out?

SHITTY: How much butter do u need?

HOLSTER: all the butter.

RANSOM: everybutter

BITTY: I don’t need anything, but y’all still need lightbulbs.

RANSOM: everbutter

CHOWDER: Sorry bitty!! We’ll see u later tonight! 

CHOWDER: Ransom, u ok?

RANSOM: ebberbubber

RANSOM: lol this class is awful I want to die :D

BITTY: D: you want to stay behind with me??

RANSOM: nnnnnnnope need this babyshopping excursion like Dex needs a phone younger than him

(Seen at 2:15)

 

JACK: I don’t know how to send videos, but I’m recording Ransom and Holster singing to each other in the backseat. Chowder’s sandwiched between them.

BITTY: What are they singing?

JACK: Beatles. I’m riding shotgun and chose wisely. I foresaw this happening.

BITTY: The singing, or my quizzing you?

JACK: Yes.

(Seen at 3:49)

 

LARDO: bits, can we send u pics?

BITTY: prolly not :/ i’ll only feel worse. I’m also gonna leave my phone off. Just save the pics and show me when y’all are back?

LARDO: will do. 

(Seen at 4:02)

 

SHITTY: r u learning a lot bitty?

HOLSTER: bitty these beds aren’t fancy enough

CHOWDER: I’m with Dex and Nursey in dog chow if anyone needs us!!

SHITTY: bitsy-boo, will u tell jack that I would make a gr9 pirate?

LARDO: more like gr5

SHITTY: D:

SHITTY: make jack stop laughing

HOLSTER: y is there no pink

CHOWDER: is hoss a medium dog, or do we get her big dog chow because she’ll grow? 

HOLSTER: we agreed pink for her color

JACK: Chowder, we might need puppy chow still. Shoot for medium size breed.

CHOWDER: got it!

HOLSTER: update: there is pink, but it is all too lil

HOLSTER: the bb is a big girl who needs a bed to grow into none of this liliputian bullshit

JACK: Lardo, Shitty’s looking up the lyrics to “Are We There Yet” and is trying to memorize them to torment me. Help me.

LARDO: Give Shitty a job. Keep him out of trouble.

SHITTY: dibs on collars.

SHITTY: nope jack assigned me gates

JACK: He can’t be a dickhead there.

HOLSTER: WILL SOMEONE KINDLY TELL RANSOM WE ARE NOT GETTING THE PLAID BED

CHOWDER: I’m talking with one of the employees, she thinks hoss could do grown-up dog food. We may need hoss’ dad?

JACK: Give me 2 seconds.

HOLSTER: update—the bed is big enough for ransom 2 lie down on

CHOWDER: update since they don’t have their phones ☹ Dex is off to look @collars, Nursey is looking 4 shitty in gates

HOLSTER: update—holster and i can both lie down on this bed??? what prehistoric wolf is this bed for???

JACK: Thanks for the update, Chowder. If anyone needs me, I’m getting dog tags.

HOLSTER: this bed is v comfy

LARDO: chowder, when did dex leave for collars?

CHOWDER: a minute ago?

LARDO: huh. 

JACK: Lardo and I are looking for Dex and Nursey

LARDO: jfc dex is a disney princess, the birbs love him

JACK: Shitty is going to have to explain himself. I am so ashamed.

SHITTY: we were only thinking of bits s2g

(Seen at 5:30)

 

BITTY: What the fuck

 

It was 6:45 when Lardo kicked the Haus door open, hollering “Are you ready to fucking baby-proof this hell-hole?”

**Author's Note:**

> What do I do when my love is away?  
> (Does it worry you to be alone?)  
> How do I feel by the end of the day?  
> (Are you sad because you're on your own?)  
> No, I get by with a little help from my friends.
> 
>  
> 
> (In all seriousness, I am unbelievably grateful to you guys. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this silly little story, for sometimes leaving such kind and sweet reviews as well as kudos, and for being so patient. It means so much.)


End file.
